So awhile back I wrote about how the military was taking inspiration from dinosaurs and psychotropic drugs (probably) when designing the next generation of military vehicles. I managed to sneak in a good joke about Voltron before the whole thing degenerated into the sort of shoddy list-based nonsense that passes for comedy around here. Seriously, some days we're just running around playing grab-ass here.
Shortly after the article went live it occurred to me that I had omitted to mention the absolute pinnacle of military vehicle insanity: The GI Joe universe. And so, as we wrap up the 7th and most boring year yet of the War on Terror, I'd like to take you back to a world where wars were cooler, and way stupider…
The 20 Stupidest GI Joe Vehicles Ever
All photos courtesy of yojoe.com
You're going to see this a lot in the next couple minutes: a whole bunch of guys hanging off the back of nearly every god damned vehicle. I don't know why – nowhere in the Joe canon does it specify why they've taken their design cues from a Central American public transit system.
Famously no-one ever actually gets shot in the GI Joe universe, which is why they have such curious ideas about how to armor vehicles. We're approaching Pope-Mobile territory with all this glass.
A multi-cultural group of friends are out for an adventure and learn what matters more: the size of your tank, or the size of your heart.