Summer blockbusters don't always have happy endings. Just ask the once-sidekicking, Short Round of "Temple of Doom" fame what his opinion on the fourth installment of the Indiana Jones quadrology is. He provided a copy of this letter sent previously to his former colleague, and we're happy to share it with you.
Dear Dr. Jones,
I may be short, but my memory is that of an elephant (like the ones that frequent the small village I saved with your help), and I shan't forgive your insult as long as I shall live. What the Nazis and Russians say indeed is true; you are as hollow as a bamboo shoot, as tired as the wilted Lotus Blossom and as unrealistic as the dreams of an Asian child actor with a lovable accent turning into a grown-up Hollywood icon.
Oh how I remember those days of frolicking in airplanes and mine carts without a care in the world. Together we were the stuff of legends, the idols of millions, on top of the world which we criss-crossed as if it were but a small map. But where are we now? Well you… YOU… You are again in the spotlight, another of your quests is memorialized in film, and I am nowhere to be seen.
What happened to us?
I thought you would be honorable; that you would stay in touch or simply "throw me a bone" as the masses may say. But no, of course not, you have no time for the child who saved your ass from a pit of fire and being on the wrong end of a one-directional heart transplant.
How dare you leave me on the sidelines as you continue your adventures? I made you, Indy. You think you're one of a kind?!?!?!
- more -
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment