Codgers! Don't Let Cloud Computing Confuse the C**p Out of You

by R J Evans

Some words that the young 'uns bandy about like there is no tomorrow seem designed purposefully to perplex anyone over thirty. Cloud Computing is just one of those terms. If you have ever wondered but were afraid to ask (especially a teenager who would just raise their eyebrows like you were as dumb as Dubya and his "internets"), then read on.

My grandmother didn't know diddly about computers but she used to wax lyrical about all the changes that she had seen in her life and wonder out loud - to anyone who would listen including her cats - whether or not life had been better without those transformations. She hadn't seen a car or a plane until she was ten but it wasn't long after that she heard news about related fatalities. So much for them being safe! It was a great mistake, too, to start her on the subject of nuclear weapons - we just didn't go there unless we had an afternoon to spare. It was a really good job that she died before she woke up, like Keanu Reeves' character Neo in The Matrix, in an enclosed pod encased in vile pink stuff with a USB port stuck in the back of her head. That would have been way too much for her to take - let alone the rest of the family. Having said that, the thought of her doing slow-motion kung-fu puts a wry smile on my face.

Digression aside, I used to wonder whether or not I would be able to measure my life against such changes - ones which had so many global repercussions. Surely the internet's next big phase will be something I can look back at but will I understand it then let alone now? When I reach her age will I be able, in the supermarket, to turn with childish glee and announce "I'm ninety three you know!" (one of her many habits in that sometimes inevitable journey of the mind back towards infancy) and then pinpoint in an obviously well-rehearsed fashion the great changes I have seen? Or even better, will I be able to word process it in to a poem (of sorts), upload it and share on a zillion social networking sites instantly, while drawing attention to my great feat of old age by zapping the store with my PDA to let everyone know it?

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