Tuesday, January 6, 2009

After Layoffs, Couples Wrestle With Role Reversal

By Adrienne Gibbs

Layoffs in male-dominated sectors are forcing some traditional couples into role reversals. One woman, now the primary earner, says there's been friction, but now he's taken over in the kitchen and she ignores dirty dishes in the sink.

A stay-at-home dad plays with his daughter.

(WOMENSENEWS)--Until last summer, Denalee Bell had always considered her Internet and Web site marketing hobby as a side hustle that helped the family living in the prosperous suburban town of Eagle, Idaho, live a little better.

But last summer, as the real estate market headed into the serious doldrums, Bell's contractor husband ran out of houses to build.

Now Bell, who used to "pick and choose her clients and the projects," is less finicky about project selection and she has upgraded to an additional full-time employee. Market Conversion, Bell's company, is not quite replacing her husband's salary as a custom home builder, but it's coming close, she says.

In short order, Bell morphed from homemaker mother of two boys--9 and 16--into the mother who works nearly 24-7 and barely has time to cook or attend church on Sunday, let alone take her kids to sporting events.

Along the way, her husband--who has taken over caring for the kids full time and helping his wife's business when needed--has commandeered the kitchen, preparing almost all of the family's dinners while also doing time-consuming housework such as grocery shopping. He's pushing the 16-year-old to help more around the house and he's also become quite adept at keeping the house clean, Bell says.

Primary female breadwinners have been steadily rising since the 1960s, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. In 2007 more than 4 million families looked to mom as the main breadwinner, double the number in 1990.

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