Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Barack Obama and the Temple of Doom

 
WAY BETTER THAN THAT CRYSTAL SKULL CRAP

This birth certificate belongs in a museum!
A mild-mannered professor in Chicago by day, when adventure calls he returns to his Muslim Homelands to discover mythological treasures and say deadpan witticisms to his Arab and Jewish sidekicks. Barack "Barry" Obama must find the legendary Golden Dildo of Destiny, which will destroy what's left of the evil Republican Nazis, as they will all fall down and worship the Golden Dildo when he lofts it over their combovers during Sonia Sotomayor's confirmation ceremony in the Masonic basement of the National Archives.

The Dildo .... If it is there, at Tanis, then it is something that man was not meant to disturb.
Cairo, city of the living. And also, more famously, city of the dead mummy kings. No wait, that is further south, where the pyramids and camels live in an uneasy truce with the occult-crazed Nazis. Barry's clownish sidekicks Rahm Emanuel, Reggie Love and spunky ex-flame Valerie Jarrett ride the "Arab gondolas" to the Great Pyramids, where Barry is finding a secret entrance by consulting his loyal Blackberry.

'Didn't any of you guys ever go to Sunday school?'
"And add eight more inches to honor the Hebrew god, and also to make fun of Netanyahu's complete lack of a dick …."
(IN UNISON:) "They're digging in the wrong place!"

True Fact: The hieroglyphic figure directly to the right of Obama's wristwatch is OBAMA.
"I've got a bad feeling about this shit."

http://wonkette.com/409070/barack-obama-and-the-temple-of-doom

1 comment:

Vernon Malcolm said...

John Hanson (1715-1783) was the first president (1780-1783) of the United States under the Confederation before the Oligarchs took power with the Constitution which allowed Bush to be president and the ownership of guns. Hanson was an Oldenburg Moor, a black nobleman, and like Elijah-Moses-Enoch-Baptist-Mahdi-Elvis, went to space on a fiery alien ship and never died. Hanson has returned as Obama to end the evil Oligarchy! This is why they could never find Obama's birth certificate! Danny Lazare is right to want to change this NRA chad Oligarch Constitution which allows the angry white talk radio males to object to Obama's berth certificate! We must impeach Scalia to disable the southern oligarchs of Calhoun, Corker, & Shelby and their demented Constitution. They have this evil bill of rights with rights for hate speech, guns, lobbyist blogging, campaign bribery, states, property, bonuses, and other oligarchic thievery that needs to end! Such euphemism, like when they call you boy as if they ever intend to call you man when you "grow"! This is why we must oppose oligarch-serving superstition by supporting one-state solutions in India-Packistain, Palestain-Isreal, Turkey-Grease, Creatia-Servia, Armeania-Asbyjean and Zahir-Condo. Then we can abolish greed and superstition across the globe with free psychiatric healthcare. We need to do domestically like we did in Servia, to teach these oligarchs they have no rights to be superstitious racists.