'Bronx Mowgli'? Why not just 'Mom Hates Me'?

Hey, celebs: Your kids actually have to live with those dumb names

BY RICHARD ROEPER

When I heard Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson named their newborn boy Bronx Mowgli, I figured "My Parents Are Goofballs" must have been taken.

I mean, really. God bless the new mom and dad and their little one, but how could you do this to your kid?

Part of me still thinks it's a prank. (Bronx Mowgli Wentz=BMW. Subliminal advertising?) Wentz is a smart and savvy guy who always seems to be having fun with his celebrity and the sheer silliness of all the trappings, so maybe he issued a release about Bronx Mowgli but in reality he named the child Billy Wentz or Jimmy Wentz.

The New York borough-Jungle Book combo of Bronx Mowgli isn't as groan-inducing as Kal-el Coppola Cage (Nicolas Cage's son), Moxie Crimefighter (Penn Jillette's kid), Zuma Nesta Rock (Gwen Stefani's child) or Pilot Inspektor, whose dad is that guy from "My Name is Earl."

But it's pretty bad.

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