Hell of a year (so far)

Revealed! The most incredible string of words you've never heard before. Plus: Bill O'Reilly loses

By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist

It is nearly summertime in the Year of Our Google, and here in the golden land known as California the following startling and once-inconceivable lament can now be heard: Dammit, with gas zooming toward five bucks a gallon and airlines doubling fares and charging me for a single checked bag, how the hell am I going to afford to travel to all my gay friends' legal weddings across the state this summer?

Please note the historic power therein. Because such a peculiar, momentous string of words hath never before been uttered by man. Or woman. Or LGBT. Or "Other."

Wait, it gets better. For it is also a time when people are gathering 'round the water cooler and the coffee shop and the DailyKos and saying, gosh, I can't decide if this articulate, thoughtful, deeply intelligent black presidential candidate is merely great, really great, or perhaps something extraordinary, a once-in-a-lifetime kind of luminous, wisdom-bearing president who will drive a stake deep into the miserable road we've been racing down and pivot the nation around it like a skier plants a pole to make a spectacular turn.

Please note that historic power here as well, and not only because such a statement is often followed by one that says, oh and by the way, that powerhouse, smart woman? She would've made a terrific president too, solid and effective, and what an astonishing thing that the race between them was so close, and so impressive and so well received, and how incredible to see the ripples of excitement and hope course throughout the world when it was all finally decided.

Honey, grab the camera. Hell appears to be completely frozen over. Wait, better switch to video mode, because I believe I see some pigs flying, too. What a thing. Also: cool camera.

What else? Well, they're holding the Olympics in China, perhaps the most oppressive and schizophrenic and surveillance-crazy major world power of all, a baffling and hugely polluted megaplace which might very well have its paranoid, dictatorial heart forcibly cracked open by the intense gaze of the world media, which in turn might give humble, battered Tibet an unexpected final shot at freedom and independence — or at the very least, international sympathy and a little less carnage and perhaps some free wi-fi in the Lhasa Starbucks.

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