McCain sells his balls

by Ed Naha

Last week, in an attempt to raise campaign cash, John McCain put his balls up for sale...and was met with derision. No, this event didn't occur at one of McCain's stooge-infested Town Hall Meetings but, rather, on his train-wreck of a web site - you know, the one that initially had such designated areas as "Creating Jobs," "Strategy," "Decision Center" and "Golf."

The balls in question were golf balls, packaged in a $50 sack, and deemed the perfect gift for Father's Day - although the actual package wouldn't arrive until late July. (What a maverick move!) Satisfied customers were invited to post their opinions of McCain's balls. And thus, the floodgates were opened for well-deserved snark, replete with creative double entendres and spelling.

Lobbyist Buddy from Washington D.C. wrote: "The Golf Pack is Great, but when are you going to offer a Joe Lieberman Certified McCain Ballwasher?"

"IRAQ FOREVER!!!" gushed reviewer Mitt Romney from Boston, MA. "I thought that I would give this McBush golf set to Dad for Father's Day as a way to commemorate his leaving Mom for the younger, blonder, much richer woman!!"

Walter San Miguel from Miami Lakes, FL stated: "NOT JUST FOR GOLF. This is just the thing for strolling around the Baghdad Market with 100 soldiers; 2 Blackhawks; and 3 Apache gunships, and then tell us that Baghdad is safe!!!!!"

Jack Abramoff from Washington, DC, enthused: "Yep, good ol' Chinese Quality! Just like we used to make in 'Merica."

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